So the life overhaul has taken a turn down a different path as of late. Remember the “I’m going to move out! I’m going to conquer the world! I’m going to be awesome!” Well the latter two are still true: I’m still on my route to conquer the world and I’m (and, no lie, always have been) a pretty awesome person… but the first kind of got downgraded to “Eh, I’ll move out eventually.” How blessed am I to have such amazing parents that just want to see me get on my feet and be me? I’m VERY blessed. I can proudly say my parents have only ever wanted the best for me and if that means taking the time (and most importantly money) to take care of myself right now, then so be it. SO, the apartment funds have currently gone to my health and I honestly couldn’t have made a better decision in that arena. I’m feeling so much better about life, my body is slimming again, I am feeling refreshed and less toxic, and feeling no craziness! I have felt a little overwhelmed with everything (work, shop, gym, etc) but the good kind, not the “Holy crap I could have a nervous breakdown any minute!” kind. So I took off last week to rejuvenate and kick out some much-needed rest and recovery that was needed. Wash that craziness away… and I did!
I may have gone a little nuts though… just a teensy-weensy bit: A week ago I decided I was going to go… yup… you guessed it… PALEO. Whaaaat?
First off, let me say that I’m kind of a modified paleo-ite. I feel like the “true” paleo person is the one who only eats all organic food, no processed foods, most importantly: no processed carbs. But screw it, I’m my kind of paleo and that has meant putting some processed foods into my lifestyle: greek yogurt, cheese, Quest bars (that I just can’t seem to give up). At least I’m not consuming so many unneeded chemicals that I was! Even a short time ago…
Anyhoo, I’m a huge pizza-aholic. Dad got us on this kick that every Friday was pizza night and it was my favorite night of the week so you can bet your bottom dollar that I pigged out like mad crazy. Ever since I started with my trainer, I’ve tried to be über careful of the dreaded pizza with its bleached flour, sugary sauces and deliciously, oozy and greasy cheese… Can we talk about how I NEED pizza in my life?
I was so excited when I found the Cauliflower Pizza Crust recipe on Pinterest. All you have to do is search for it and there are a gagillion posts from other bloggers about how they make their own crust with cauliflower. SO, I bought a head of cauliflower (is that what they call it?) and decided I was going to do it, I was going to make cauliflower pizza crust even though I can’t stand the smell of fresh cauliflower itself!
No seriously, that stuff smells god awful to me, why am I the only one who can
see smell that?
Anyhoo, there is something you should know about cauliflower: that crap is hard to chop up into tiny pieces, a la the recipe. Blenders? Yeah, that doesn’t work… believe me, I tried all of them in my household. After my extreme bought of frustration (and sending my father into a similar bought of frustration over the situation) I gave up, threw the rest of the cauliflower in a tub and threw it in the fridge.
Feeling so discouraged, I searched for an alternative paleo pizza recipe and found a little gem of a video for paleo pizza crust… that I couldn’t find again… This is becoming a theme of mine with healthier recipes. So I made it up from what I could remember. (If it might have been your video, please send me a message!)
Now, I say “Not so 100%” because I’m sure I’ve added way too much cheese to make sense in the world. Though if anything it’s about 95% paleo, so that’s a win! … Right?
Anyway… (EDITED CONTENT BELOW!)
- 1/8 c of coconut flour (sifted)
- 1/2 c of almond flour (edited to add)
- 1/3 c of ground flax-seed
- 1/4 c of almond milk
- 4 eggs
- Seasoning (I added 2 tbsp of garlic salt, 1 tsp sea salt, 1 tbsp ground pepper
- Organic Pizza Sauce
- Low-fat, Low-moisture mozzarella cheese (can be pre-shreaded – there comes that “almost paleo”!)
- Turkey Bacon or Kielbasa
1. Heat the oven to 350 degrees and cover a pizza/cookie sheet with a sheet of parchment paper. THIS is super important, the video specifically mentioned it… I neglected it. More so because I was too lazy to go buy some more as we were out.
2. Sift the coconut flour in a bowl. SIFT. Don’t skip that step. I also find sifting fun, so… do that. Just do it. For me. I’m also sure almond flour would work, that I will try next! Add the ground flax-seed and mix the dry ingredients together. I’d also add your variety of seasonings as otherwise the crust is going to be super bland. I added some sea salt and pepper, then added some garlic which is fantastic because then it’s just like garlic bread too! Fresh and minced garlic would probably be fantastic. But get creative!
3. After mixing all the dry ingredients, add the 1/4 c of almond milk, again I’m sure you can use other milk but I can’t have lactose so… there. Add the four eggs and stir, stir, STIR!
4. It will be pretty thick by now, go ahead and pour about half on the parchment paper and spread out. Make sure to spread it thin! Unless you like a heavy crust, then by all means use it all. Especially with the eggs and flax seed, it will rise, so if you want it crispy, spread it super super thin. You can make the second crust on an additional pan and freeze it for later! I forgot to split it before baking it… my pieces were so much smaller for consumption because it was so filling! Also, again, use that damn parchment paper… I regret not dragging my butt up to Walmart and just buying a roll… you’ll see why in a minute.
5. After spreading out, put in the oven for 10 minutes.
6. While waiting for it to finish, cook your turkey bacon. For mine, I cooked about 5 pieces in the microwave and then left it in there until I was ready for it to keep it warm.
7. After the 10 minutes, take out the pan and flip over your crust using the parchment paper… yeah… bad idea Heather, way to fail:
8. I had to smoosh it back out… looked redonkulous. Stick it back in the oven for another 10 minutes.
9. Get together the rest of your ingredients and cut up your bacon! After 10 minutes take the crust back out. If you made two, go ahead and put that on the stove to cool. But now you’re ready to pizza-ize this sucker!
10. Pour enough sauce to cover the top of the pizza crust you’ve just made. I used a bit more since my crust was so heavy and thick.
11. Sprinkle a bit of mozzarella cheese over the top, then your turkey bacon, then more cheese! Because of reasons.
12. Stick your pizza back in the oven under the broiler for a few minutes until the cheese has melted and has that heavenly look of awesomeness. Case in point:
This will also make your crust a little crispy on the ends… YES. So awesome.
Enjoy! Mine made enough for me to have three meals! Holler! It was so incredibly cheap too!
Edited to add: I made another pizza last night as I was absolutely CRAVING it. I changed the title because I figured out, this is actually pretty paleo so… screw that “almost 100%”. Anyway, I used the parchment paper this time: SUCCESS. I spread the ingredients thinner: SORTA SUCCESS. It was still a little thick because of the egg and flax mixture, but still good! The added garlic, basil and oregano were a great add! And this time I put on kielbasa and spinach! YUM!
I highly recommend. Did you go paleo? How are you doing with it?
Don’t forget to enter to win free goodies from me!!! See the previous post!